Everyone lies. Nietzche once said that lying itself is just a condition of life, and on average most people are lying around two times a day!
But when does telling a simple white lie turn into a more sinister compulsive habit? Why do we lie in the first place? And why are we so interested in the dark side of lying?
Let’s talk!
Compulsive lying, pathological lying, Pseudologia Fantastica, or Mythomania. There are many names for compulsive lying, and it’s seen in a considerable amount of our culture and media. Although pathological lying is no longer a proper diagnosis, it’s still considered a symptom of a more significant diagnosis.
Outside of normal lying there are essentially two forms of compulsive lying, both of which are defined as ‘repetitive, impulsive, and unplanned’. Compulsive lying is most commonly seen in those who present with Narcissistic traits, or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Those who present with narcissistic or other personality disorders use lying primarily for external gain, generally to manipulate those around them. With OCD lying, the lies happen due to a need to act on obsessive thoughts, primarily surrounding the person’s believed problems or deficits. Unlike compulsive lying which is manipulative in nature, lying as a symptom of OCD doesn't have a clear reward or reason and is done to relieve the anxiety associated with obsessive thoughts.
When normal brains (also called neuro-typical by professionals) are lying, brain scans show that one area tends to have more activity: the Pre-Frontal Cortex (PFC). The PFC is responsible for making decisions, testing our morals, as well as processing feelings of guilt. A study by University of Southern California found that those who frequently lied also had less grey matter in their PFC, but significantly more connective tissue (white matter).
Having less grey matter and more white matter may allow someone to act more impulsively and make morally questionable decisions, while not experiencing as many feelings of guilt. More white brain matter may help a person to quickly pull ideas and new lies together. In combination, this biological difference from normal brains may be the reason for people who lie compulsively.
Say you go to a party and meet someone, and they ask what you do for a living. You might embellish your career a little, or avoid talking about your horrible boss. But those who are compulsive liars may elaborate a little too far. In Narcissistic lying, the individual may be asked about their job and go on to explain how they are the boss and how big their paycheck is. Their motive is to appear wealthy and influential, but their self-indulgent lies may go into darker territory if a victim can be involved and manipulated further.
When compulsive lying is tied to OCD, the lies may appear to have no real effect or reasoning. If they are asked about their job, the individual may internally panic, realizing their job isn’t interesting or their boss really sucks. This can lead to the impulse to lie, but not necessarily towards grandiose or self-inflated lying like someone with Narcissism would do. Because the lying is associated with anxiety and compulsive thinking, ("my boss hates me, I could never get that dream job") the lies are done to make the individual appear exceptionally normal. This might mean the lie is simply "my job is good and I grab a drink with my co-workers every now and then". This may be enough to cool internal anxiety and blend in, while also not leaving a significant impression.
But why is our culture so interested in pathological liars? What makes this symptom so alluring to us? Aside from being able to tell tall tales and make themselves sound interesting, compulsive liars are so intriguing because sometimes there just isn’t a reason for them to lie. Why would someone lie about having just a normal job? Or lie about something so excessively that they're sure to get caught? With both forms of compulsive lying, the impulse to lie stems from insecurity and anxiety. Insecurity about one’s abilities, looks, achievements, needs, or even about their disorder and the encompassing lies.
Next time you find yourself with someone you think is a pathological liar, consider why they might be anxious and how their lying is helping alleviate that anxiety. Do they lie for no reason at all? Is the lying easy to notice? Is this person lying to manipulate someone? Other questions to ask yourself might be: does this person have a history of lying or other mental health concerns such as OCD or Narcissism? Although it can be tempting to 'out' a compulsive liar, this can result in worse anxiety and can lead to further lying. Additionally, the individual may be completely unaware of their lies, having bought into their own lying over time. There is also the possibility that a person may not be lying but experiencing hallucinations and delusions that are very much true in their world. The best way to approach a compulsive liar is to express your sympathy and concern for them, and suggest they seek professional help to help manage their anxious thoughts.
If you believe that yourself or a loved one is struggling with compulsive lying, please contact a therapist or clinic who can help. If you live in the Portland, Oregon metro area, you can find me here on my website, Instagram, or my email at: malia.graves.counseling@gmail.com.
References
Birch, C.D., Kell, B.R.C., Aquino, E.P.B. (2006). A review and case report of pseudologia fantastica. The Journal of Forensic Psychiatry & Psychology, 17(2): 299-320.
Dike, C.C. (2008). Pathological lying: Symptom of disease? Psychiatric Times, 25(7). Retrieved from: www.psychiatrictimes.com/addiction/pathological-lying-symptom-or-disease.
Gardere, J. (2010). The mind of a pathological liar (mental health guru) [Video file]. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxtJlc8AZe4
Grubin, D. (2005). Getting at the truth about pathological lying. American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law, 33: 350-353.
Morton, K. (2016, April 18). What is compulsive or pathological lying? [Video file]. Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bkCY-x2pTE
University of Southern California (2005). First evidence of brain abnormalities found in pathological liars. ScienceDaily. Retrieved from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/10/051002115557.